I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Found the puke drawer
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
