yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
did i just pee glitter
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
