Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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