What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Someone shattered a urinal.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He shit in the fireplace
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
