We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
