five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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