Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize