they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
