Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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