would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
