i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
