somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize