If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
