we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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