Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
