I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
