shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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