Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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