remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
