I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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