You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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