You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
