If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize