Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
love makes seman taste better
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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