I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
