New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
