We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize