Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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