I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
