Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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