So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
