im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
