Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
