Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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