There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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