is your mom at the bar?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
