The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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