I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
