We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
