don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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