You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
