sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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