my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize