Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
