Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
