I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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