Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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