At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
