You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
