So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh god the rape fog is back!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
