I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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