thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize