tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
