If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
