And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
