Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
