ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
