I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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